things (that) fall apart. (Day #21 if NaPoWriMo)

i sat down to write about
mistakes i have made in life
things i wish i could turn around
i thought i would have maybe five.

i filled an entire page.

next, to complement that set
i started with happiness
doodled the full alphabet
but gave up the dull process.

i let the drying ink age.

why do we have more expressions
for negative events leaving bitter tastes
forever imprinted into our tunnel visions
affecting the way we make mistakes?

why do we spend weeks and weeks
brooding times we failed to step up
counting regrets and losing streaks
creating layers of woeful buildup?

why do sad poetry and music and art
of things that fail, people who depart
gain more traction, warm more hearts
why do we fixate on things that fall apart?


things (that) fall apart.
[day 21 of NaPoWriMo]

It is human nature to focus on the bad events that happen in our lives, over the good ones. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and it reminds me of Patronuses from the Harry Potter series. Of how, in order to make the Dementors (a metaphor for depression) go away, you need a spell that requires you fixate on a positive memory for a long duration. And how there are wizards who are not able to conjure one. At the same time, it’s so easy for anyone to fall into a Dementor’s trap and crash through the void of depression and darkness. And it very much sounds like another metaphor for real life, where we tend to focus on the negative aspects, try to analyse and learn from them, while we enjoy the happy moments only fleetingly and let them slip away unnoticed. I only started to codify my thoughts when I was watching (yet another) one of vlogbrothers’ videos .

Also, the title is inspired from the novel ‘Things Fall Apart’ by Chinua Achebe, which I have not read.

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